Old Candy Critic Articles - What flavour are you going to vote for?

I've decided to take down several old articles from the candycritic.org and re-post them here on the Candy Critic blog.  This week keeping in our American theme, we're re-posting an article we wrote during the Kerry/Bush election in 2004.

This year could be one of the most important years in American politics. Get out and let your thoughts, your opinions,and your words be heard. We here at Candy Critic know how important it is to make the right choices, to look at each candidate and make the decision that makes you proud to live in the U.S. Unfortunately, we don't really know much about politics. Sure we could tell you why the Aero bar's bubbles make it great, and why Coke and Pop Rocks are completely safe when mixed, but we don't really keep up with politics.

Fortunately for us, and you, Dubble Bubble has crossed the lines between candy and politics with their "Presidential Cigars". Finally, we here at Candy Critic can provide you with some information that will help you change the face of American Politics, build a place you can be proud of. How, you might ask? Candy Critic presents a look at the two candidates based off their bubble gum cigars. Use this information wisely, it could change the world.

The Candidates:

George Herbert Walker Bush

John Forbes Kerry









The Cigars:

Pink (for Bush):  Fruity and Red, that's the first impression of this candidate. It reminds me of "Hawaiian Punch", funny the similarities. The flavour is strong. It makes me feel like I've just eaten a whole truck load of fruit, it almost burns a little. Although it was a little hard at first, it softened up quickly and the flavour just got stronger. In fact it's getting so soft that it's almost like it's a different type of gum altogether A strong fruit punch-like flavour, that's the best way to describe this candidate. I give it 40% of my vote.

Blue (for Kerry):  Blueberry, and a little bit more subtle. This candidate didn't really jump out at me and say "Hello", but as I chewed the flavour starts to grow on me. I don't find myself wanting this candidate to die down in this mellow fashion. It's taken over my mouth, it's said to me, "Hey I just want to hang out, not wreck your house." It's as if the flavour isn't trying too hard, maybe not enough, but not too hard. Blueberry is a nice subtle flavour and to me it just seems right, not too overpowering despite the texture being the same as the other. I give it 60% of my vote.

So what did I learn about politics?


Well I learned that buying a bubble gum cigar can make more of an impact than ever. I also learned that political critics like myself can suffer for the cause, mostly with a sore jaw and brightly coloured mouth. Most of all I learned that I know nothing about American politics, but that's okay because I'm Canadian and I can't vote in the election anyways. Having said that, if you are in the U.S., buy a bubble gum cigar, go to your local polling station and vote.

CC