It's A New Episode of Chris, Why Would You Eat That!!!

I've decided that Chris, Why Would You Eat That?!! needs a bit of sprucing up. After editing this episode I realized it's just the same thing over and over again.  Next month's episode is already recorded, but the new year hopes to bring a new theme to the show.  I'm still working on the details, but hopefully it'll be a little more dynamic and fun, while still watching me eat questionable things.

Either way, I hope you still had fun watching me drink this horrible drink, as noted we discovered later that it did in fact have chunks of grass jelly in it.

Click here to check out old episodes of Chris, Why Would You Eat That?!!

Also, check here to find old and current episodes of our podcast Junk Fud.

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Candy In The Media

Here's some tips to help you mix your wine with chocolate.

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Candy In the Media

This very popular video has inspired me.  I think I might try something similar, only instead of feeding strange candies to others, I'm going to eat them myself.  I had this concept a few years back, but seeing how simple it can be shot, though this video, I think I might try to start it up again.  Stay tuned.

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A Cool Candy Thing

All I can say about this bucket of Play-Doh candy making equipment is: "Stop making Play-Doh look so tasty!  It's hard enough not to eat it as is!".

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Your Food Is Different

The flavours and flavour combinations that we find in candy is something that's very close to many of us.  Most of us started eating candy as children, so the flavours, smells and textures were implanted into our memory at a young age.  Science has proven that flavours, smells and textures stay in our minds, and are directly associated with our brains memories.  This means that you'll probably remember the smell of your 5th birthday, long before you remember who actually attended.  Because candy plays with these senses in particular, we remember candy well, and often very fondly.

We build a certain bond between these foods we've grown up with, and our place in the world.  Since humans are often self-centred, we also assume that everybody else will also have these same bonds.  The truth is, many people don't have the same connection to certain foods as you.  This means that people from certain cultures may have never had contact with a particular food that you love, and when they try it, they can only rely on the actual flavour in relation to their experiences.

This brings me to the best example of this that I can think of, peanut butter.  In North America we put peanut butter on everything.  Chocolate and peanut butter, peanut butter and jam, I've even had peanut butter on a hamburger.  In Europe however, many people don't eat peanut butter.  In fact I know several people who've never even tried it in their entire lives.  I also know a few people that have tried it, and absolutely hate it.  So why would you hate peanut butter?

I think the answer can only come about when you look at peanut butter from a neutral standpoint.  The texture of peanut butter is the first thing that turns people off; it sticks to your mouth, and is difficult to eat.  Peanut butter is also very oily, and many people don't like oily food.  Finally, peanut butter tastes like peanuts, and while many people enjoy peanuts, not everybody likes to mix it with so many other foods.

Don't get me wrong, North America isn't the only peanut loving continent, many Asian countries use peanuts and peanut butter for a great deal of their cooking.  Have you ever had a peanut Thai sauce, often peanut butter.  Many North Americans I know can't imagine someone not wanting to eat peanut butter, but then my Japanese friends can’t understand why everybody doesn't like red bean past either.

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We Eat More Gummies Than Ever This Week in Our Gummy Review-a-Thon!

I usually have trouble writing gummy reviews, because frankly most gummies, taste and texture wise, are pretty much the same.  I end up often writing about how the shape was pleasing, and or difficult to eat.  However the folks at sugarfina.com have changed my mind a little.  They sent me a package full of gummies that are each very different in taste and texture.  I can't say I liked them all, but I was happy to sample them.

Click here to read today's spicy gummy review.

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Old Candy Critic Articles - Saver Some Fruit

I've decided to take down several old articles from the candycritic.org and re-post them here on the Candy Critic blog.  This week I'm posting an article I wrote comparing the flavours in Lifesavers to the real fruit.

Fruit, some call it nature's candy; I prefer to call it nature's fruit. Candy is candy, fruit is fruit. It's all pretty simple.

The concept for this article started when I was walking through a fruit market and saw some bananas. I thought to myself, "They don't really make a fruity treat that tastes like real bananas." The reason I say this is I'm a pretty big fan of bananas, but generally hate banana flavoured candies. This got me thinking about how much or little most fruity treats taste like the real thing. We often accept that a certain flavour is what the wrapper tells us it is, but I don't think it's often even close. Or maybe it is.

I rarely find myself indulging in a treat while simultaneously eating the real fruit equivalent. I can't bear the idea that there's a candy experience I have not tried, so here goes. After much thought, I decided that the treat of choice would be Lifesavers. I figure it's the best bet, because it's been around forever, and I think most people reading this probably know what they taste like. I also happen to like every flavour of both Lifesavers and their fruity counterparts, so this allows me to eat treats that won’t make me want to barf.

Most writers tell you to save the best for last, and they're probably right, but unfortunately I've decided to let the pack of Lifesavers decide where I start. The great candy gods have chosen Cherry. 

The interesting thing about cherries is that every time I bite into one, I expect it to taste like the candy version of it. The thing is, it's rare for cherries to be really sweet. No matter how fresh or ripe a cherry is, it always seems to have a bit of a sour kick. That's not bad by any means, but it is something that you don't really remember unless you think about it, and if you think about it, I'm pretty sure you’re not enjoying the cherry as much as you could be.

The Lifesaver is interesting. As I said, it tastes nothing like real cherries, but it tastes like what I'd like cherries to taste like. I have been brought up in a candy world. Here I am writing about how I wish real fruit tasted like candy. I think I need help.

The next choice, as determined by the Lifesavers roll, is Pineapple. This treat has neither pine tree elements nor apple, so it's a little odd if you ask me.

This might be the only really unfair competition out of all of the comparisons. I'm not sure whether the candy or the fruit gets the advantage, but I'm using canned pineapple so it's not really the same as the fresh stuff. I find for the most part it's a little sweeter out of the can, and that seems to be a big difference between the candy versions of most fruits and their real counterparts. The one thing I can say about real pineapple is it's a lot stringer than its candy companion. I've been known to get a bit of the stringy bits stuck between my teeth.

The pineapple Lifesaver has always been a mystery to me. Why pineapple? Why not something a little more common, like banana? It just seems strange. Having said that, the similarities between the fruit (albeit from a can) and the candy are pretty close. I'm impressed; slightly sour but with that unmistakable pineapple taste. Not bad, Lifesavers people, not bad.

Lime is my next choice, or so says the roll.

You're probably thinking, "What kind of idiot would take a bite out of a lime?" Well, I'm just that kind of idiot. Sour. Man oh man is that ever sour, particularly after eating all the sweet pineapple - both the fruit and the candy. I have to be honest. I really did just take a bite and took in more juice than anything else. Man, that's sour. These things are really great with sweet things but on their own they’re not so much fun.

The Lifesaver tastes more like a sweet sparkling cola with lime in it than just a plain lime. Basically, it tastes like they took the flavour of lime and sugared the heck out of it. Once again, another situation where the candy is just an overly sweet version of the original. Not that I really mind, though. I mean, I don't think I could have managed a long suck on something as sour as a lime.

Orange is next. You've got to love a fruit that shares its name with its colour.

I have a love-hate relationship with oranges. It's not that I love to hate them or anything vindictive like that. It's just that if I eat a bad orange, it's the worst thing I can possibly imagine. However, if I eat a good orange, life doesn't get much better than that. Fortunately, this particular orange was a good one. The bad ones are just bitter and make me want to wretch.

With this candy, the sweetness is very similar to the fruit, much like the pineapple. The candy might even be a little sourer, and I don't really mind it. The flavours are similar but you can tell the difference. The real difference comes into play due to the fact that the Lifesaver lacks that rush of juice you get from an orange. Refreshing qualities are big in my book, and in particular fruits like oranges.

Last but not least, Lemon.

If you're wondering whether I'm going to take a bite out of a lemon, please reference the lime section above. I try not to learn from my mistakes. As far as sour goes, see the lime section above and then double it. Wow, that's a sour fruit. I can't say that I've never bitten into a lemon before, because I'm well known for doing stupid things like that, but maybe I just block out how it feels. I hope that if I get the idea to do it again, I'll just reference this blog.

I'm not really sure why they put a lemon and a lime Lifesaver in this package; I think they taste virtually the same. I'm sure it has something to do with looking like a rainbow, but then that begs the question of why they have pineapple instead of grape or blueberry. Taste-wise, the difference between the lemon and lime flavoured Lifesavers isn't that big, similarly with the fruit. In fact, many fruit-flavoured treats have "lemon lime" flavours and I can see why - the flavours are not that different. The strange thing is that out of all the flavours, these two are the most different from their fruit counterparts. Maybe that's not strange or even that interesting, but it's worth mentioning.

Any last notes, you might ask? Well, for the record, I do really enjoy fruit, even though you probably imagine me just eating tonnes of candy all the time.

CC

My Carob Experience

This giant 5 inch bean, is a bean that many chocolate fanatics despise.  This is a carob bean, and carob is most often used as a chocolate substitute.  I'm sure, if you're like me, you're wondering why in the world someone would want to substitute real cocoa for something fake.  I'm guessing it has to do with either the high price of cocoa, or maybe some people are allergic to cocoa (although I've never met anybody in my life with this horrible affliction).  On many occasions I've been lucky enough to sample cocoa, in many forms, including full toasted beans.  But I can't say that I've ever even seen a carob pod before.  So once I saw this glorious bean on a market shelf, I knew I couldn't pass it up.

Before I bought it, I asked the nice lady selling them exactly how one goes about eating a carob pod.  She went on to tell me about a few cooking methods, but I'm sure the confused look in my face led her to tell me that you can just eat it as is as well.  Frankly this giant bean didn't really look that appetizing at all, but it did have a nice smell, so I bought the bean, and took the nice lady's advice.  After my first bite I wasn't really convinced that you can simply bite into a dried carob pod and enjoy.  There was a certain chocolate like flavour, but the pod was really tough and woody.

Inside the pod I found several of these little hard beans.  In most cases the bean is much tastier than the pod, and I figured that once I bit into one of these little beans, I would be in fake chocolate bliss.  As it turns out these little beans are rock hard and impossible to bite through.  It could be that they are the most flavorful part of this bean delight, but I wasn't going to know, because I couldn't crunch it without doing some serious damage to my teeth.  I did try sucking on the little bean for a little while, but it was still as hard a marble.

Is a carob bean tasty?  The flavour that I did manage to extract from this bean wasn't that bad at all.  I can see why it could be used a chocolate substitute, and it might even have flavorful applications on its own.  I am however convinced that the lady at the market really wanted to sell me this bean.  I don't think people actually eat these beans as is, the texture is just too woody, and the beans are impossible to chew at all.  Maybe if I soaked it, or maybe if I boiled it, I might have had more luck.

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Halloween Candy Links - Part 6

I came across this video on Boing Boing, those guys are huge fans of the new Doctor Dreadful toys, and so am I.

As always, TCHO is offering some really good looking chocolate treats this Halloween.

Think you know your Halloween themed cereals?  Why not take the quiz.

AV Club is taste testing some Halloween themed candy.  They tried to stick to pumpkin flavours, but it didn't work out.

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More of our Asian Review-a-Thon

While posting today's review I realized something very interesting about the word "Choco".  This is a word used very often when a candy company wants something to have a chocolaty taste, but may not actually contain that much chocolate.  I'm finding more and more treats with clever names, one of the best is "Froot Loops".  I don't think this is always the case, I think sometimes candy companies use Choco, or other short forms because it's creative.  I just think that it's also a way to get through a legal loop hole when it comes to branding your product.

Click here to read the Choco review from today.

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Sugar Free VS Sugar Filled - Cherry Luden's

"Sugar free" is probably the longest trending health fad in the candy business.  Don't get me wrong, I understand that some people have medical conditions and they have to be very careful about how much sugar they eat.  Since I don't presently have a medical condition that requires me to worry that much, and since I eat sweets in moderation anyways, I tend to seek out the sugar filled versions of treats.

The question is, can there be a time when the Sugar Free version is as good or better than the sugar filled version?  I've decided to start searching for this answer.  I know that many treats make a sugar free version of their candies, so I think it's going to take a bit of experimentation.  I also realize that no candy company, as far as I know, has ever claimed that their sugar free version is as good or better than the original.  For my first taste test, I'm going to try out Luden's Wild Cherry Cough Drops.  Since people that don't eat sugar get coughs too, it's nice that they make a sugar free version as well.

Sugar Included:  I actually like cherry cough drops, I enjoy the taste.  I also think that the flavour reminds me of being sick and getting a candy to suck on to make me feel better.  The cherry flavour of these Luden's cough drops is pretty good.  It's not super authentic, like real cherrie, but it's got that classic cherry flavour.  The thing that actually makes it taste less like real cherries is the fact that it's overly sweet, so I wonder if the sugar free version will taste more like real cherries?

Sugar Free:  While these is a distinct difference in the flavour at first, after a little while it really settles into a very similar taste.  If I had to describe the difference, I'd say that the sugar free cough drops don't have as deep a flavour.  It's as if they taste a little lighter than the sugar included cough drops with maybe a little more tang.  On a flavour level they're pretty much on par.  Good job Luden's, you made two treats, a little different, but still tasty.

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Old Candy Critic Articles - Candy Critic for a day Part 2

I've decided to take down several old articles from the candycritic.org and re-post them here on the Candy Critic blog.  This week and next, I'm posting an old article I wrote where I invited a few friends of mine to participate in some of the trials and tribulations I go through when I'm doing a review.

Let me guess, you want to write me an e-mail and tell me how much you would love to do what I do, how cool it would be to eat all this candy and try treats only some people could imagine. Well for the most part your right, this is not a bad racket, but with the good comes the bad. The bad in this case is the awesome risk you take biting into something that you can't even read the package, or eating something with a character on it that would be better off dead than the state he's in. You're not the only people who want to be Candy Critics, my "real friends" tell me this all the time. They tell me how much they would love to do a review, and how great it must be. Sometimes I let my friends review treats with me and they always want to review their already favourite treats, they never go out on a limb.

Revenge is a dish better served cold, man that's a dumb expression, but it works. So today I'm calling some of my buddies out and the challenge will begin. This is how it works. Each contestant/reviewer picks the name of a candy out of a hat. Then they must eat the treat and write a single sentence about what's going through their minds. If a contestant refuses a candy or spits it out before their next turn, they are out and will forever be branded a 'wuss'. So let the game begin...

Contestants:

Morgan

What can I say about Morgan... He keeps telling me that he doesn't eat that many sweets, but he's the first to grab any new treats I might offer. Why do I think he's great for this contest. Well he's got an opinion, and for the love of god he'll let everybody know it. Morgan's opinion is not always mine, but I'm guaranteed that it's logical, because he's a very thorough thinker.

Sam

Sam is a contestant because he fits the bill of the classic Candy Critic wannabe. He tells me how much he would love to eat candy like I do, and he even asked to do a review. Just like the many other people that ask to do reviews he asked to do a review of his favourite treat (the Mr.Big). So here you go Sam now your doing what I do, see how you like it.

Frank

Frank was a late entry into this contest but he is a sure fire candy fanatic. Why did I ask him to participate? Well, Frank's a good guy and to be honest he was around, so I thought he would make a perfect contestant.

Chris (That's me by the way)

At first I thought I would not participate in this game, only because I have nothing to prove. I know I can taste odd candies, and I've proven it over and over again. What changed my mind? Well these guys accused me of wimping out and I am no wimp.

Round 6:

Morgan - Harry Potter Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Bean

"Wants to be fruity (orange) but is bland."

Sam - Asian Grape Gummy

"Good thing I got it again... cuz I forgot to write about it last round... It's good! (Frank got another Torture Scorcher)."

Frank - Warheads Torture Scorcher

"(tangerine) Scorch varies from piece to piece."

Chris - Asian Grape Gummy

"Still Grapey."

Round 7:

Morgan - Harry Potter Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Bean

"Lemony

- Ends blandly"

Sam - Altoids Tangerine Sours

"First it's like a tiny tangerine in my mouth... Then it's like, really sour for a couple of seconds... Then it returns to a tangerine flavour."

Frank - Harry Potter Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Bean

"A nice little jujube, grapefruit rocks! Flavourful."

Chris - I Love Lucy "Predicamints"

"My breath is already to dam fresh."

Round 8:

Morgan - Warheads Torture Scorcher

"Raspberry

- This Time

- Very spicy right away stays spicy."


Sam - Cadbury Choc Shocks

"Still rockin' and poppin'... Could do without the popping part."

Frank - Cadbury Choc Shocks

"Didn't fizz much."

Chris - I Love Lucy "Predicamints"

"Why god why?"

Round 9:

Morgan - Altoids Tangerine Sours

"Lightly sour with orange hint."

Sam -  Cadbury Choc Shocks

"I swallowed it fast... and now my throat is tingly."

Frank - Asian Grape Gummy

"Been there done that, but nice grape flavour."

Chris - Thrills Gum

"Of all the candies this was one I normally don't like and guess what? I still don't like them now."

Round 10:

Morgan - Japanese Yogurt Chew

"Fruit Chew again

- doesn't know what favor it wants to be."

Sam - Warheads Sour Spray "Grape"

"It hits me like an elementary school memory... Something really synthetic about it besides being really sour... no real taste."

Frank - I Love Lucy "Predicamints"

"A good but typical mint, cool."

Chris - Warheads Sour Spray "Grape"

"Too much mint and spray is making my eyes water, so cold."

Well I guess I have to admit my buddies are not wussy at all, and I guess they can take some of the heat. You think you can take it, well maybe next year I'll try it again, you could even be a contestant, but you never know what I might pull out of my hat.

CC

Old Candy Critic Articles - Candy Critic for a day Part 1

I've decided to take down several old articles from the candycritic.org and re-post them here on the Candy Critic blog.  This week and next, I'm posting an old article I wrote where I invited a few friends of mine to participate in some of the trials and tribulations I go through when I'm doing a review.

Let me guess, you want to write me an e-mail and tell me how much you would love to do what I do, how cool it would be to eat all this candy and try treats only some people could imagine. Well for the most part your right, this is not a bad racket, but with the good comes the bad. The bad in this case is the awesome risk you take biting into something that you can't even read the package, or eating something with a character on it that would be better off dead than the state he's in. You're not the only people who want to be Candy Critics, my "real friends" tell me this all the time. They tell me how much they would love to do a review, and how great it must be. Sometimes I let my friends review treats with me and they always want to review their already favourite treats, they never go out on a limb.

Revenge is a dish better served cold, man that's a dumb expression, but it works. So today I'm calling some of my buddies out and the challenge will begin. This is how it works. Each contestant/reviewer picks the name of a candy out of a hat. Then they must eat the treat and write a single sentence about what's going through their minds. If a contestant refuses a candy or spits it out before their next turn, they are out and will forever be branded a 'wuss'. So let the game begin...

Contestants:

Morgan

What can I say about Morgan... He keeps telling me that he doesn't eat that many sweets, but he's the first to grab any new treats I might offer. Why do I think he's great for this contest. Well he's got an opinion, and for the love of god he'll let everybody know it. Morgan's opinion is not always mine, but I'm guaranteed that it's logical, because he's a very thorough thinker.

Sam

Sam is a contestant because he fits the bill of the classic Candy Critic wannabe. He tells me how much he would love to eat candy like I do, and he even asked to do a review. Just like the many other people that ask to do reviews he asked to do a review of his favourite treat (the Mr.Big). So here you go Sam now your doing what I do, see how you like it.

Frank

Frank was a late entry into this contest but he is a sure fire candy fanatic. Why did I ask him to participate? Well, Frank's a good guy and to be honest he was around, so I thought he would make a perfect contestant.

Chris (That's me by the way)

At first I thought I would not participate in this game, only because I have nothing to prove. I know I can taste odd candies, and I've proven it over and over again. What changed my mind? Well these guys accused me of wimping out and I am no wimp.

Round 1:

Morgan - Warheads Sour Spray "Grape"

"Hint of sweet but mostly sour juice."

Sam - Cadbury Choc Shocks

"Me like. Mouth tingling! Like macaroon... on acid"

Frank - Warheads Sour Spray "Grape"

"Where's the sour? Sour drool.!!"

Chris - Warheads Sour Spray "Grape"

"Nice and fruity with a sour taste."

Round 2:

Morgan - Warheads Torture Scorcher

"Initially Spicy

- takes a second to kick in, then gets sweeter, raspberry."

Sam - Japanese Yogurt Chew

"Gotta love Japanese candy... like a rainbow in my mouth!... But a Japanese rainbow... Made out of yogurt."

Frank - Warheads Torture Scorcher

"Instant heartburn. Quickly loses its zing and becomes typical candy (lemon)"

Chris - Altoids Tangerine Sours

"Sour at first, but mmm mmm fruit later."

Round 3:

Morgan - Japanese Yogurt Chew

"Fruit Chew

- like Starburst"

Sam - Harry Potter Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Bean

"Yumsters in my tumster."

Frank - Warheads Torture Scorcher

"Strong but brief initial kick. (Raspberry)"

Chris - I Love Lucy "Predicamints"

"Although minty it has some kind of crazy chalky taste too."

Round 4:

Morgan - Warheads Torture Scorcher

"Very Spicy

- Cherry does not get sweet, stays spicy"

Sam -  Japanese Yogurt Chew

"(oh yeah... you can eat it!) Still a rainbow!"

Frank - Warheads Torture Scorcher

"Hot Orange sucker (tangerine)"

Chris - I Love Lucy "Predicamints"

"Still minty"

Round 5:

Morgan - Asian Grape Gummy

"Very soft gummy with good grape flavour."

Sam - Asian Grape Gummy

"OK... I've had 5 really good candies in a row and now I'm really getting worried something is going to go wrong. (Frankie is beside me and he got like, 4 Torture Scorchers... I'm scared)."

Frank - Warheads Torture Scorcher

"(Cherry) Little scorch by the 4th time around."

Chris - Asian Grape Gummy

"It seems to have more of a grape juice taste than any real grape."

To Be Continued Next Week...

CC

Old Candy Critic Articles - Candy as a Class Distinction

I've decided to take down several old articles from the candycritic.org and re-post them here on the Candy Critic blog.  This week, I'm re-publishing an article written by my friend Brent Forrest all about how to eat certain popular treats.

When to savour and when to just get it over with.

I cannot claim to be as passionate about sugary treats as my friend Chris Stewart. Personally, too many sweets make my insides ache. But I have learned one subtle delight in enjoying your favourite confectionary is the all-but-forgotten sensation of savouring. You know that commercial where the two girls suck on Aero bars and then go into fits of ecstasy when the bubbles melt? Yeah it’s like that, but Aero is the worst example because that porous array of chocolate doesn’t melt like you’d expect, it just turns into one big awkward mush and in the end you find yourself asking, “What’s up with this chocolate to empty space ratio?” Anyway, I could go on and on but I think you get the idea. Here, then, for your edification is my guide to candies that deserve savouring, and others that aren’t so lucky.

Aero bars: Gobble Quickly. Regardless of what the recent campaign may suggest, those bubbles don’t melt with any rewarding properties.

Hershey Solid Chocolate: Savour Slowly. I can make one of these bars last the entire 45-minute subway ride home. A pleasant experience, even if the chocolate sometimes tastes like rotten bananas. (Note: don’t eat these bars if they appear to be covered in a dusty white film – I don’t know what causes this but does it ever taste awful.)

Eat Mores: Gobble Quickly. Have you ever tried to let one of these things melt in your mouth? All you get is a mouthful of chopped peanuts and hurt feelings. These babies are best in wintertime when they get all hard and tough, the perfect thing to keep your jaw working and your face warm. One bar should last a minute at most.

Skittles: Savour Slowly. The great thing about Skittles is that the different colours actually represent different flavours, so as you let these morsels melt in your mouth you can achieve levels of flavour satisfaction too profound to expound upon. One bag should last an hour.

Twix: It’s a toss up. While the chocolate and caramel are good for a slow melt, you’ll end up with a soggy cookie in your mouth, and no matter how patient you are, you’re gonna have to chomp down on that sucker sooner or later. So some might argue that chomping quickly is the way to go, to achieve maximum crunchy satisfaction, others may say that soggy cookies are awesome so it’s tough to say. Eat time: ten seconds to half an hour.

Skor: Savour Slowly. If you eat this one too quickly you’ll have toffee in your fillings for weeks. These ones can last a long, long time.

Gum (Any variety): One thing I can’t stand is to see someone chewing on the same piece of gum for longer than five minutes. Gum flavour gets absorbed quickly, so I suggest eating the whole pack in one go. Having quit smoking recently, I feel I just cannot eat enough gum, but it’s more for oral fixation than anything else. I don’t know, chew gum however you like.

Clodhoppers: Eat Quickly. These things are deadly, Chris turned me on to them not a while back, and boy am I hooked, I went looking for them at the pharmacy just the other day only to find they didn’t stock the small packs anymore and just had the giant holiday box. I bought it anyway and dug right in on the walk back home – I was getting pelted by freezing rain, but I didn’t care. The moral of the story is that when you let these oversized boogers of fudge melt in your mouth, the result is a very unhappy wad of soggy rice crispies, and that’s just not kosher. Gobble these bad boys as fast as you can; don’t let anybody else have any! Eat time for one giant holiday box: 5 minutes.

And there you have it, my totally non-suggestive guide on how to suck on things. I hope that you’ve found the experience educational and practical. It just goes to show that your mother was right when she said not to wolf your food down. Savour the moment and open your heart to the utmost of flavour sensations! Now go forth my young disciples, and experience candy in a whole new way – think of those starving kids in Ethiopia, that helps.

CC

Old Candy Critic Articles - Reese plus what? (Part 2)

I've decided to take down several old articles from the candycritic.org and re-post them here on the Candy Critic blog.  This week is part two of an article I wrote about what to pair with your Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

While reading a forum that I frequent, an interesting candy question came up. The idea is simple but the answer is so complicated Stephen Hawking's would be boggled. The question is this:

“What goes with Reese peanut butter cups?”

Sure we all have opinions, but you have to look at this scientifically through scientific eyes. You have to try eating a whole bunch of cups with different things and see for sure. So this is my plan. The following is a list of ways that I ate my cups in order of worst to best (last week being the worst, this week being the best). I based everything off the feelings I had eating a cup all by itself, and then decided if the pairing is better or worse, and how much better or worse. Sure it sounds complicated but all I know is I have a lot of cups to eat and that can't be bad... right?

6 of 12 - With Ice Cream

This is truly the first time I've ever felt really pressured by time while doing this challenge. Not that it's particularly hot in my house right now, but the ice cream is starting to melt. For the sake of this experiment I chose to use chocolate ice cream, mainly because I have a milk shake maker and chocolate milk shakes are the best. As far as working with the cup it's OK. The chocolate ice cream dominates at first, but was quickly replaced in flavour by the cup as the ice cream melted. It's not a bad treat but, I'd prefer chocolate peanut butter ice cream any day.

5 of 12 - With Hot Oatmeal (and rasins too)

I can't say that I'm smart enough to have come up with this one on my own. I have to give credit to the great thing we call the Internet for that. So to those anonymous people out there on the World Wide Web, I salute you, because this was truly a spectacular treat. Who would have thought that the oats and raisins would not only taste great with chocolate and peanut butter, but the texture was divine too. Best of all was the way the hot oatmeal melted the chocolate perfectly.

4 of 12 - A banana

They say that Elvis loved deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and we all know that Elvis can't be wrong, even though he died a very large man. Basically this is like eating one of Elvis' favourite snacks but instead of bread we're adding chocolate, and adding chocolate can't be bad. It's a whole lot of squishy in my mouth, but it's not bad. The banana adds a nice texture to the slightly dry cup, and the flavours compliment each other fairly well. The only problem is the cup's flavour does overpower a little.

3 of 12 - Marron Cream

If you're asking yourself, what the heck is Marron Cream then I say to you; Sir or Madame, I didn't know either until recently. I'm sure you'll think it's a really snobby topping, but Marron Cream is commonly found in France as a toping for crepes. It's basically a chestnut spread. I figured if it's good enough for French crepes, it's good enough for Reece Peanut Butter Cups. I can't say that I thought it was that great at first, but after it mixes up in my mouth a bit it's pretty good. The Marron Cream is sweet and a little nutty, similar to the peanut butter cup, but a different nutty flavour. The two flavours together are actually pretty good. I recommend if you try this at home, not to overdo it on the Marron cream, but other than that I'm surprised, impressed, and a little classier.

2 of 12 - Peanut Butter

Allison suggested this one; she's a bit of a peanut butter fanatic. She also insisted I use the crunchy or it just wouldn't be worth doing. You know what, this isn't that bad. In fact it's pretty good. I'm sure I could have over done it with the peanut butter and completely ruined the cup, but a little extra normal peanut butter does this cups justice. The crunchy bit wasn't bad either, added a nice little extra bit of texture. Good call Allison.

1 of 12 (the best) - A dollop of whipped cream

This is the real stuff too, none of that cool whip for me. I took 35% cream and whipped it. I thought that the whipped cream might be lost to the chocolate peanut butter flavour, but I thought wrong. The whipped cream holds its own but doesn't overpower, it adds a nice cool texture and a great unexpected and tasty flavour twist. Yummy!

CC

Strawberries and Cream

A few weeks ago was National Strawberries and Cream day, and I wanted to celebrate.  Then, when I got to the grocery store to buy my cream, I realized that I'm not really sure what kind of cream people generally associate with strawberries and cream.  After a bit of internet research, I realized that no one really has a definitive cream in mind, but I wanted an answer.

So rather than picking up one type of cream, I picked up 5 different cream products, and today I'm going to compare them to find out which cream goes best with strawberries.

Whipped Cream - The taste of the whipped cream is exactly what I like with my strawberries.  Whipped cream calls out for a sweet partner, and these fresh strawberries delivered.  The problem I have with the whipped cream is the texture.  The whipped cream texture was just too light next to the strawberry.  When I think of strawberries and cream, I think of a fruit with a heavy textured cream.

Creme Fraiche - I have to be honest, this is the first time I've ever had creme fraiche on it's own.  I think I've had it as an ingredient in recipes before, but never just next to a piece of fruit.  It has a very interesting flavour, slightly sweet with a bit of a sour after taste.  The sweet flavour works well with the strawberry, but the sour not so much.  The texture on the other hand is really nice.  It holds onto the strawberry very well, but also melts into it a little too.

Sour Cream - I know that most people probably wouldn't ever think of putting strawberries in sour cream, but I wanted to see if it worked.  After all, I use sour cream all the time when I cook, and it often works very well. I think however, that sour cream probably works best when accompanying something warm.  The sour flavour seems to calm down a bit when heated up, and the sweetness of the strawberry just couldn't compete when it was cold.  The texture was a little thick too, but not bad.

Yogurt - Of all of the combinations I've tasted today, this is the one that I've had most often in the past.  Strawberry yogurt is a fairly regular part of my diet.  While this tasted fine, I think it would have been better if the strawberries were mashed up into the yogurt and not just side by side.  It took a few chews before I got that flavour that I'm used to with strawberry yogurts.

Regular Coffee Cream - While the texture of this cream wasn't as nice as the creme fraiche , the flavour was actually a little nicer.  It had a nice sweet flavour, like the whipped cream, but it coated the strawberry a little bit better.  Of all of the combinations I've tasted today, this simple cream is my favorite.  If the cream could have been just a little thicker, it would have been perfect.

CC

Old Candy Critic Articles - Reese plus what? (Part 1)

I've decided to take down several old articles from the candycritic.org and re-post them here on the Candy Critic blog.  This week is part one of an article I wrote about what to pair with your Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

While reading a forum that I frequent, an interesting candy question came up. The idea is simple but the answer is so complicated Stephen Hawking's would be boggled. The question is this:

“What goes with Reese peanut butter cups?”

Sure we all have opinions, but you have to look at this scientifically through scientific eyes. You have to try eating a whole bunch of cups with different things and see for sure. So this is my plan. The following is a list of ways that I ate my cups in order of worst to best (this week being the worst, next week being the best). I based everything off the feelings I had eating a cup all by itself, and then decided if the pairing is better or worse, and how much better or worse. Sure it sounds complicated but all I know is I have a lot of cups to eat and that can't be bad... right?

12 of 12 - A cup and some OJ

Nothing gets my morning going better than a cool glass of Orange Juice. How well does this cup of OJ go with a peanut butter cup? The answer is not well at all. The only thing that I can say that was good about this particular experience is the fact that the juice doesn't leave much of an after taste, so I don't have to suffer as I get through the last little bits of Peanut Butter cup.

11 of 12 - Dipped in a tall glass of Milk

The milk really doesn't stick to the chocolate at all when you dip it into your glass. So other than a bit of a white film the cup remained basically untouched. However after dipping it in the milk I took a big swig and man it really cleared and refreshed my whole mouth. I'm pretty sure that means that the cups aren't good dipped in milk but rather they're good with a swig of milk after eating a cup.

10 of 12 - With Tea

And I don't mean Mister T... Out of all of the other attempts to enjoy a Reese cup this one has to be the classiest. I like that I can interject a little class into the site now and again, it makes me feel like putting on a monocle and top hat. As far as how it affected the peanut butter cup, that's pretty simple, scalding hot water and chocolate, it melted several layers of chocolate instantly and almost made it down to the peanut butter in seconds. Unfortunately the tea (a hazelnut flavour) is also too strong to allow the chocolate flavour to really have any effect either. So I just slightly melted a peanut butter cup and ate it.

9 of 12 - Just a cup, all by itself.

What can I say; it's a Reese Peanut Butter Cup. A classic treat with just the right amount of peanut butter inside. For the purposes of this article, this is what I'll call the median of this tasting experiment. All by itself, it's pretty good, but let's see if it can be improved upon by adding something else, who knows maybe the cup is as good as it gets.

8 of 12 - Pudding

For this treat I did a little something special. While making the pudding seen in this photo, I decided to prepare the peanut butter cup in advance, and let the pudding actually set on the cup. To be honest, it really didn't do anything special. Texture wise the pudding was nice, cool, and balanced well with the slightly dry peanut butter. But flavour wise the vanilla pudding had no hope. I couldn't taste anything but peanut butter and chocolate. Having said that it didn't take anything away from the cup either.

7 of 12 - Peanut Butter Cup and Jam

This is one of the ideas that someone had to suggest, but I'm amazed I didn't think of it a long time ago. It seems so obvious to put jam on a peanut butter cup, a fine suggestion. It's not bad either, although for those that don't like sweet things, you might not like it too much. Me I think it's OK; the jam gives a little more moisture to the peanut butter cup that can be a little dry at times. It also adds a nice little flavour, although I may have put a little too much jam on mine because it killed the peanut butter a bit. All three of these flavours are well known to work together (I used strawberry jam) so success was a sure thing.

Stay tuned next week to find out the top 6 treats that worked very well with my Reese Peanut Butter Cups...

CC